My Testimony

This was not part of the plan.

In a matter of weeks, God willing, I will be moving to a small village in a very remote part of Africa. Not “going on a trip to” Africa, or “travelling” there, but moving there. If you had told me five years ago that I would be moving to Southern Sudan, to live in a small village and work with the poor and the lost, I might have laughed, or I might even have cried, but I would not have taken you seriously. Yet now I can’t imagine doing anything else. Why? What has changed in the last five years? Jesus has flipped my world upside down. He has taught me many things; most notably, that my plans are lousy compared to His.

I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 8. It sounded like a pretty good deal, compared to the alternative, so I signed up for salvation. But I am planner; always have been and probably always will be. I had the 1-year plan, the 5-year plan and the 10-year plan. I even had a 25-year plan at one point. These were my plans, not God’s, because I was the one in control of my life. Jesus could be my Savior, but I was in the driver’s seat.

Then my plans crumbled 5 years ago when I was graduating from college with no job and no idea where I’d gone wrong. Through a series of providential circumstances I ended up in Volgodonsk, Russia working with a mission organization to share the gospel and start a micro-loan program. Microfinance, as it is called, gives people in developing countries a way to climb out of poverty. It involves giving extremely small loans to small business owners who can’t get a loan from a bank. For example, a seamstress who sews dresses by hand might receive a $100 loan to buy a sewing machine. Suddenly instead of making 3 dresses a day, she can sew 30—enough to feed her family, and even send her kids to school. Through this program, I was able to watch struggling entrepreneurs grow businesses and pull themselves out of poverty. I got to see drug addicts liberated from their pain and come to know Jesus. I loved it. I knew this is what I was born to do. I’d found the Holy Grail of occupations. But then it ended. It ended for good reasons, not bad, but it was still over. I had to return to “The West”, to civilization, to the United States. I couldn’t understand why God would give me a glimpse of something so right and then pull it out from under me! Again, the plan I saw was crumbling.

I got a corporate job, and then another corporate job, which led me to Dallas. Here I found and fell in love with Watermark and its incredible body of believers. I planned to build my resume, get an MBA and climb the corporate ladder. I’d had a “mission experience”, but surely God wanted me to build a “career” in the corporate world. Yet, I wasn’t satisfied with my corporate job. It just wasn’t the same as in Volgodonsk. Then in February of this year, I met David and Missy, two Watermark members who wanted to start a microfinance program in Southern Sudan. Southern Sudan is quite possibly the most underdeveloped area of the planet. 90% of the people live on less than $1 a day. David and Missy were looking for help, and I was one of only a small number of people who had experience starting a microfinance program in a developing country. But I had no interest in Africa, let alone the most devastated country on the continent. Again, through a series of providential circumstances I could never dream up, of doors closing while others opened, I found myself agreeing to lead Seed Effect: Sudan, a new microfinance ministry in Kajo Keji.

Africa is a place I never wanted to visit, let alone work and live. Now, after my first trip to Sudan and with a long-term move imminently approaching, there is no place I can imagine being but Africa. Why? What changed? I’ve come to realize that Jesus has a plan and it’s always better than mine, even though he doesn’t always let me see beyond tomorrow (James 4:13-17). The journey is better with Jesus as my Savior AND my planner, the Lord of my life.